Jonah and I were enjoying playgroup when three kids started fighting violently over a toy. I was the nearest adult and sprang into action, taking the toy away. One of the mothers says, "we'll handle it". This didn't register in the midst of the fray and it wasn't until I had removed the offending toy and suggested that the toddlers find another that Alpha-mom repeats, "they're OUR children, WE'LL handle it." (Oh? Any of the four adults except me?) And she proceeded to give her son the first turn with the coveted toy.
Very succinctly, she managed three things:
- Publicly criticize my response to the situation (and by extension my parenting).
- Undermine the authority and respect due to any adult in a room full of toddlers.
- Empower her child to bully the others by acting as his crony.
Way to strike at the heart! I may have been impressed by the very targeted and calculated attack if I didn't think it came so naturally to her. I used to give parents a lot of leeway, considering it a parental right. Now it bothers me, smug moms wielding tyrannical power over everyone under the guise of (authoritarian) parenting. What happened to "it takes a village"? And yet I need to respect it. I'm sure I (unintentionally) do it, too.
I later watched a toddler eat a crayon because I didn't want to intervene. I only regret the child wasn't hers.
